Limping with God

This week's Torah portion, VaYishLach וַיִּשְׁלַח (And He Sent), is based on Genesis 32:4-36:43 and has a main focus on Jacob's reconciliation with Esau. I've learned a few lessons when pondering this week's narrative that I believe are worth sharing. Nothing mind-boggling or groundbreaking. Most lessons I share here are nothing new, but are worth remembering, and these simple things are things we often forget to put into practice in our lives. With that clarified, let's dive in.

The first lesson I've observed is: We cannot reconcile with our brother, our world, and our surroundings until we reconcile with God and ourselves. Chapter 32 ends with:

"Then he said, 'Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed.' Then Jacob asked him, 'Please tell me your name.' But he said, 'Why is it that you ask my name?' And there he blessed him. So Jacob called the name of the place Peniel, saying, 'For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life has been delivered.' The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel, limping because of his hip. Therefore to this day the people of Israel do not eat the sinew of the thigh that is on the hip socket, because he touched the socket of Jacob's hip on the sinew of the thigh." Genesis 32:28-32

Here we see an encounter Jacob had with God Himself in human form (the pre-incarnate Yeshua, in my opinion), and he was transformed. God gave Jacob a new name that matches his new character. In this encounter, Jacob faced his own flaws, realized his shortcomings, asked to be blessed, and was changed. This is an encounter many of us have had when we understood God's character and demands, we wrestled with those world-changing views, we understood our shortcomings, and we allowed God to prevail (surrendered to God). This is a salvation encounter. Jacob, a name that means "heal-grabber," which insinuates he is a deceiver, was changed to Israel, a name that means both "prince of God" and "wrestled with God and prevailed." This encounter didn't just change his name, but the way he walks. This is an illustration that Israel now walks differently. Maybe even a bit slower and dependent on God, but it is a limitation he embraced. A change that not only affected Israel, but an entire nation's future customs. That is powerful.

Sometimes, when we face our own nature, we may end up limping along in life. Limited by God's commands.

The next lesson I observed is: Reconciliation and repentance are not always enough. Forgiveness from God doesn't erase past injustices with men. After reconciling with God, Jacob (Israel) now had to reconcile with his brother. Chapter 33 focuses on this:

"He himself went on before them, bowing himself to the ground seven times, until he came near to his brother... Esau said, 'What do you mean by all this company that I met?' Jacob answered, 'To find favor in the sight of my lord.' But Esau said, 'I have enough, my brother; keep what you have for yourself.' Jacob said, 'No, please, if I have found favor in your sight, then accept my present from my hand. For I have seen your face, which is like seeing the face of God, and you have accepted me. Please accept my blessing that is brought to you, because God has dealt graciously with me, and because I have enough.' Thus he urged him, and he took it." Genesis 33:3 & 9-11

Just because Jacob reconciled with God and himself, it doesn't mean everything with his brother was resolved. Many believers think that if they commit injustices, and then ask God for forgiveness and receive his mercy, then it means that they do not need to pay restitution. That is NEVER the case. In fact, many times we are forgiven by God but still pay a price for our disobedience in life. Sin never pays off. Wrongdoing requires restitution. Israel was wise enough to understand this. He knew that what he did was wrong. That is why he fled, and that is why he was scared of coming home. He knew that Esau was justified in being angry and wanting justice. The act Israel performed is something taken very seriously in their culture, and death was a just resolution. By giving Esau gifts and respect, in addition to having God's favor that softened Esau's heart, he was able to win Esau's forgiveness. The real lesson for us is that sin always costs something. We often tend to confuse the context of salvation with the context of life. When it comes to our salvation, all sin is forgiven and erased, but when it comes to our earthly lives, the consequences of sin are not magically erased. A perfect example would be related to our physical health. If we neglect our bodies and overeat, the consequence is becoming overweight, which often comes with other health concerns like diabetes, heart disease, and many other common defects. If we repent and decide to change our lives and our diet, the health issues and our extra weight do not disappear immediately. It may take years of good behavior before our bodies catch up to the changes in our lifestyles. Some of the negative health effects may never go away at all. Saved or not.

Lastly, reconciliation with God and our past does not make us immune to future life's challenges. I often see this pattern in scripture, and unfortunately, I also see this in life. The lesson is: Even after a victory, expect something to go wrong. Here is the narrative in Chapter 34:

"Now Dinah, the daughter of Leah, whom she had borne to Jacob, went out to see the women of the land. And when Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, the prince of the land, saw her, he seized her and lay with her and humiliated her... Now Jacob heard that he had defiled his daughter Dinah. But his sons were with his livestock in the field, so Jacob held his peace until they came. And Hamor the father of Shechem went out to Jacob to speak with him. The sons of Jacob had come in from the field as soon as they heard of it, and the men were indignant and very angry, because he had done an outrageous thing in Israel by lying with Jacob's daughter, for such a thing must not be done... On the third day, when they were sore, two of the sons of Jacob, Simeon and Levi, Dinah's brothers, took their swords and came against the city while it felt secure and killed all the males." Genesis 34:1-2 & 6-7 & 25

This is something I have been facing in my own life. I received a tremendous victory from the LORD several years ago by being cured of Gastroparesis. That is an illness that has no cure, so by natural standards, I should still have it. It is a horrible illness that reduces your quality of life significantly. I wrote an entire book about it, testifying to God's goodness and His mercy. I testify as often as I can about how much God changed my life by giving me this cure, and how, for about 6 years, I was completely healthy. However, I am now facing a new issue in the health department. An equally devastating problem, but completely different from Gastroparesis. About 2 years ago, I was diagnosed with bilateral kidney cancer. I've since had surgeries and subsequent miracles, but I still deal with symptoms more often than I hoped. Just like Israel, who received his undeserved victories followed by an injustice committed against his family, I wasn't spared from having other health issues after receiving mine. I understand that this life is not the "real" life we will live with our Creator. That in this life and fallen world, we will face trials and sometimes injustices. God is observing our behavior and how we will respond to these trials. This life is a test, and how we respond to these tragedies is both a test of our character and faithfulness to Him, but also teaches us valuable lessons.

Like the protagonist of this narrative, I would rather limp as Israel than run as Jacob. How about you? The reader of this blog. Would you prefer running your own life, not caring about what the Creator thinks or wants, or would you prefer limping as long as He is with you? A message you can think about this week. My challenge to you. I love you all and hope the Creator's grace shines upon you. Shalom Ve'Shavuah Tov.