Grab Death by the Horns

In an attempt not to sound morbid, I want to share that I've been thinking a lot about death lately. Before I raise unwarranted concerns let me assure you that I'm not suicidal. However, you'd be surprised at how often you think about death when you are lying in the fetal position inside your shower while trying not to cry over the insane amount of pain even breathing can cause. Last week I did that quite a bit. So, what do thoughts of death bring to those who are still alive? It brings clarity and thankfulness. As I sat there in pain and getting some instant relief from the hot water running through my body I wondered what it would be like if I were gone. I wondered if my family would be ok and if I left everything in place so they would be cared for when I was gone. I wondered if anyone would truly miss me. I wondered if I had done all I could to honor Adonai. Most of all I wondered if I was ready to meet my Savior. It turns out that this week's Torah portion, Vayechi וַיְחִי (And He Lived), touched on the very same subject. In this portion, we read about Jacob's last day on earth and how he faced it without fear or regret. Further ahead we read that this portion also addresses Joseph's last day and how he faced it with equal fortitude. Interestingly enough the Haftara (accompanying and relevant text from Prophets) also spoke about David's last days and how he too faced it without regret. I began to see a pattern. It is almost amazing and as if they knew they were on their last day and they marched into it with a mission in mind: To prepare the next generation and accomplish their last task with dignity.

It brought me so much comfort to read these scriptures because the conclusion I drew from my own battles was that I too was ready. Please do not misunderstand me, I don't WANT to die. What I mean is that I too am not afraid to die now. Those days I thought about death I felt no fear nor regret. I thought about it mechanically and objectively. I did ask those questions and thought about ways to make them real in case I die. If I die I have put everything in place that my wife and daughter will be taken care of through work and supplemental death insurance. I thought about what things I needed to resolve so that I have peace with everyone around me. I repented about every minute of hidden sin and things that would displease the LORD. So I truly am ready if death comes today.

With all that said, I don't think I'm going to die anytime soon because I do feel Adonai still has a lot for me to accomplish here. Still, my attitude about the subject now is similar to Paul's:

"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." Philippians 1:21

I'm at a time in my life when I have already died to the world. Something all Christians should attain to gain. I say this with full knowledge that I've been serving Christ for over three decades, but only recently have I felt this way about death. So it is truly easier to say than to live this. All Christians, myself included in the past, will casually say, "I'm dead to the world and just want to live for Christ". However, the reality is that this isn't most people's real feelings. I think that believers, just like Jacob (Israel), Joseph, and David in this portion, MUST be ready to die at any moment. I think this is a healthy thought pattern that is illustrated in scripture for us to mimic. I challenge you this week to think about this topic and ask those questions yourself. If any of them brings you an uneasy feeling, then you are not ready and need to wrestle with this until you are.

"The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure." Ecclesiastes 7:4

Morbid as it may be, thinking about death brings wisdom. If you think about your limited time on earth you will begin to notice a different life pattern emerge:

• You will treasure and be thankful for every day knowing that each day is not owed to you, but a gift from Adonai. (See Psalm 118:24 "The Lord has done it this very day; let us rejoice today and be glad.")

• You will value everything more and have less time to complain about things you do not have. (See Luke 12:23 "For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.")

• You will understand that worrying about things outside your control will not increase value in your life and will focus on what you can control and do. (See Luke 12:25 "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?")

• You will worry less about the future and what it may bring. (See Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.")

• You will learn to weigh your problems realistically. If you are not even alive, then those issues you think are catastrophic won't even matter, so you learn to cope with unresolved issues better. (See Luke 12:20 "But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?'")

• You will understand your limitations and therefore remove unwarranted pressure from yourself. (See Psalm 103:14-16 "For he knows we are but dust and that our days are few and brief, like grass, like flowers, blown by the wind and gone forever.")

To sum it all up, being ready for death brings freedom and then you will learn to live better. I love the song "Live Like You Were Dying" by Tim McGraw because it captures this very lesson amazingly. Here are some of the lyrics:

"Skydiving... I went Rocky mountain climbing

I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fumanchu

Man, I loved deeper... And I spoke sweeter

And I watched an eagle as it was flying

And he said... Someday I hope you get the chance

To live like you were dying"

Grab death by the horns and ride life hard.

It is a song about a man who found out he had a terminal disease and did not know how much time he had left. He sings about how it transformed his life because he forgave every grievance in his past, became a better husband, loved people deeper, and made life changes that he would otherwise not have done. He found out that he was already living a dead life that was not worth living and only now, knowing his time was very limited that he began to treasure and do all these things. I say we should all live like that because regardless if we have a terminal disease or not, death can come at any moment. So this week think about death and start living as if today was your last day on earth. Shavuah Tov Ve'Shalom! I love you all!